Dealing with your in-laws for maintaining peace after marriage

Dealing with your in-laws

 It is always better to maintain a healthy relationship with your In-laws. If for any reason you dislike them never tell it to your partner. Afterall your in-laws are your spouse's  grandparents, parents, and siblings and they are the crucial part or your spouses life. They became a crucial part of your life as well as soon as you locked your horn with your spouse.

1.While dealing with your inlaws try to be courteous and maintain good manners. If some of their behaviour bothers you dont speak up directly because pointing to  their fault will worsen the situation eventualy, better overlook the matter and try to point it indirectly with another same type of example when there is a cool situation. But judge the effect also beforehand and take precauiton as well as in doing this in an inexperienced way may lead to a dangerous situation.

2.If your inlaws hurt you any way try to solve the matter directly with your in-law without involving your spouse,this will reduce the load of your spouse as well as you get a better result.

Your in-laws are a crucial part of your spouse's life. This makes them a crucial part of your life as well. No one ever said it was easy to balance your needs with the needs of others -- especially the needs of an entire new family. But creating family harmony is possible -- and it's very much worth the effort.

You realize it won't be easy to build bridges -- and rebuild some that have been burnt -- but you also realize that it's a valuable way to spend your time. The return you get on your investment will last the rest of your married life. Here are some ideas to get you started.

1. Work with your spouse.
   This is the key rule, numero uno, the whole enchilada. As my wonderful husband reminded me last night, dealing effectively with in-laws all starts with first working conflicts through with your spouse. Remember, you're in this together.
   
   Never put your spouse in a situation where he or she has to choose between you and a relative. If you do so, you're putting your spouse in a nearly impossible bind. Instead, try to understand the bond your spouse has with his or her grandparents, parents, and siblings. If possible, try to support that relationship. Even if your spouse has parents from hell, they are his or her parents.
2. 1. Set boundaries and limits.
      
      No candy before mealtime for the kids? No loans for in-laws? With your spouse, decide what's important and what's not. For example, we let our kids eat anything they want anytime. Want ice cream ten minutes before dinner? Fine by me…as long as you eat a reasonable dinner. But we're really, really picky about school work. I don't think it has dawned on my kids yet that there is a grade below "A." Working as a team, set your family values. Then communicate your values to your in-laws. All of your values and all of your in-laws.
      Speaking of boundaries, don't make promises that you can't keep. Remember Neville Chamberlain, Hitler, and Poland? In an attempt to achieve "peace in our time," British politico Neville Chamberlain gave Poland to Hitler as part of the British appeasement policy. Remember how well that worked? Hitler just kept right on seizing chunks of Europe. Placating people to keep the peace rarely solves the problem -- especially if your in-laws are tyrants.