How to avoid after marriage altercation/argument with your spouse

How to avoid altercation/argument after marriage  with your spouse

It is always better to avoid an argument after marriage although it seems unavoidable sometimes. But for maintaining peace at home argument with your spouse not only destroy the peace but it may damage a good relationship as well . An argument can never be won and although some of the arguments are unavoidable and some positive arguments helps build good relationship but there are some other arguments also present which  very soon takes the shape of a violent form,all the disputes are generated from this argument. But how to avoid the argument.

1.Control your anger.Keep your cool

2. Respect opponents views and you can cut down the risk of developing the argument by 90%.

3.Judge the loss and benefits of the argument, i.e the consequences of the argument.

4. During conversation avoid using insulting or harsh words or abusive languages which hurts others ego or sentiment.

   If the abusive languages  are used against your opponent chances are that                               there would develope some destructive argument sooner or later.

5.Talking in the terms of the opponents help reduce the intensity of the situation.

Living with your in-laws as well as maintaining peace at home

Living with your in-laws

Some times it becomes inevitable to live with your in-laws. They are not your spouse. They may be insignificant to you but not considering them important or not treating them as special may lead to a disasterous family life whatever be your love bond. So knowing the right ways of dealing with them and maintaining may save you from difficulties. While in-laws live together, it is never an easy life.

1. While living with someone will definitely have some friction also. This is natural and your spouse should realise it and admit it.
2. The frictions or the disputes should be solved without the help of your spouse. You should  directly confront the situation to solve the matter.

3. Drawing your spouse in the middle of your clash will make the situation worse as he or she will be in dilemma in delivering the verdict and cannot accuse anyone of you. Some times his or her verdict will be baised and things may might go uncontrolled 

Dealing with your in-laws for maintaining peace after marriage

Dealing with your in-laws

 It is always better to maintain a healthy relationship with your In-laws. If for any reason you dislike them never tell it to your partner. Afterall your in-laws are your spouse's  grandparents, parents, and siblings and they are the crucial part or your spouses life. They became a crucial part of your life as well as soon as you locked your horn with your spouse.

1.While dealing with your inlaws try to be courteous and maintain good manners. If some of their behaviour bothers you dont speak up directly because pointing to  their fault will worsen the situation eventualy, better overlook the matter and try to point it indirectly with another same type of example when there is a cool situation. But judge the effect also beforehand and take precauiton as well as in doing this in an inexperienced way may lead to a dangerous situation.

2.If your inlaws hurt you any way try to solve the matter directly with your in-law without involving your spouse,this will reduce the load of your spouse as well as you get a better result.

Your in-laws are a crucial part of your spouse's life. This makes them a crucial part of your life as well. No one ever said it was easy to balance your needs with the needs of others -- especially the needs of an entire new family. But creating family harmony is possible -- and it's very much worth the effort.

You realize it won't be easy to build bridges -- and rebuild some that have been burnt -- but you also realize that it's a valuable way to spend your time. The return you get on your investment will last the rest of your married life. Here are some ideas to get you started.

1. Work with your spouse.
   This is the key rule, numero uno, the whole enchilada. As my wonderful husband reminded me last night, dealing effectively with in-laws all starts with first working conflicts through with your spouse. Remember, you're in this together.
   
   Never put your spouse in a situation where he or she has to choose between you and a relative. If you do so, you're putting your spouse in a nearly impossible bind. Instead, try to understand the bond your spouse has with his or her grandparents, parents, and siblings. If possible, try to support that relationship. Even if your spouse has parents from hell, they are his or her parents.
2. 1. Set boundaries and limits.
      
      No candy before mealtime for the kids? No loans for in-laws? With your spouse, decide what's important and what's not. For example, we let our kids eat anything they want anytime. Want ice cream ten minutes before dinner? Fine by me…as long as you eat a reasonable dinner. But we're really, really picky about school work. I don't think it has dawned on my kids yet that there is a grade below "A." Working as a team, set your family values. Then communicate your values to your in-laws. All of your values and all of your in-laws.
      Speaking of boundaries, don't make promises that you can't keep. Remember Neville Chamberlain, Hitler, and Poland? In an attempt to achieve "peace in our time," British politico Neville Chamberlain gave Poland to Hitler as part of the British appeasement policy. Remember how well that worked? Hitler just kept right on seizing chunks of Europe. Placating people to keep the peace rarely solves the problem -- especially if your in-laws are tyrants.
   
   

Things to be avoided after marriage for maintaining peace at home

Things to be avoided after marriage

1.Dont try to control your partner.
2.Never try to change your partner like yours
3.Dont loose your temper.
4.Dont insist your partner on the topics which he/she donot wish to share.
5.Never insult your partner or his/her parents in any way.


***** TAKE A PRINT OF THIS PAGE AND SHOW IT TO YOU PARTNER AS THE ABOVE POINTS WILL BE EFFECTIVE ONLY IF BOTH OF YOU FOLLOW THE RULES*****

The very basic principle of maintaining peace after marraige

The very basic principle of maintaining peace at family after marraige

In a nuclear family maintaining peace after marriage requires the same traits as was required for maintaining good relationship with other people. Those who can maintain good relationship with others will lead peacefull married life also unless the extramarital affairs or some unfaithful things happens.

The very basic principle is that what i dislike to be done upon me others will also dislike the same thing to be done upon them more or less.

1.Maintaining respect to each other at any cost it will make the path smooth for both.
2.Never hurt your partners ego.
3.Try to understand your partners likes and dislikes. Try to avoid doing the things which your partner dislikes.
4.Emphasis on your partners emotions, but  less on yours.
5.Being polite to each other will help a great.
6.Dont argue for the small things, measure the effect of arguing, arguing can some time lead to hot discussion and regular arguing will worsen the situations. so always try to avoid it.
7.If an argument is inevitable, argue with maintaining  due respect in words to your partner,avoid using harsh words and keep the cool.
8.Overlook the faults of your partner.
9.Try to become an ideal partner rather than looking for an ideal partner.
10.The last but very important maintain respect to your in laws.



***** TAKE A PRINT OF THIS PAGE AND READ IT WITH YOUR PARTNER AS THE ABOVE POINTS WILL BE EFFECTIVE ONLY IF BOTH OF YOU FOLLOW THE RULES*****